Monday, September 15, 2008

halpz! i am surrounded by the sum of my partz.

i can not haz mathses.


They used to feed me a bottle of 2 euro wine. Then they had me call the landlord. Because I had impeccable French and a great accent once I started drinking. Funnily enough, I still do. Also? I was the meanest. I drove a hard bargain.

And when sewage backs up into your shower? He thought we were joking. We didn't pay rent. Nope, no we didn't. je t'ai dit, monsieur, qu'on paiera apres que la douche est repare

We left. Our neighbors ratted us out, there was glue in key holes. There were public hysterics. There was the implication of character flaw, hot sex, scandal, and also? WE HAD A DIRTY ARAB FRIEND HE WAS BROWN. and that? that was a problem.

I love you, Yahya. But you knew that. also? you kept me from killing le monsieur. the one-armed bandit. I WAS A BETTER PIRATE THAN HIM. yes, yes I was.

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