Saturday, December 5, 2009

For Caroline.

Quick and Dirty French Phrase Guide:

Could I please have a beer?
Une biere, s’il vous plait
ooon beee-air seal-voo-play

I’d like a cappucino, please?
Un café crème, s’il vous plait
un café krem, seal-voo-play

Where is the bathroom?
Ou est les toilettes?
Ooo-ay lay tway-lettes

Which way to the metro station?
Ou est le Metro?
OOO-ay le met – roe

Please help, I’m lost, which way is (hotel address)?
S’il vous plait, je suis perdu. Ou est_____?
(Seal-vooo-play, je sweeee per-dooo. Oooo-ay _________?)

No, I don’t want to give you my number.
Non, je ne te donnerai jamais mon numero
No, jay nuh tuh done – er – ray jah-may mon numero.

No, I don’t want to go home with you.
Non, j’ai aucune desir de rentre chez toi.
No, j’ay oh-coon day-seer duh ron-tray chez toi.

No, I don’t want to have sex with you.
Non, je n’ai aucune desir de te faire amour.

No, je-nay oh-coon day-seer duh tuh fair amour.

I don’t like men.
J’aime que les femmes.
Jem que lays femmz

Fuck off, you bastard.
Arrete de m’emmerder!
Ah-rett duh may-mer-day!

You’re breaking my balls.
Tu me casses les couilles!
Too muh kassz lays quweeez.


LexBrett said...

This is funny. And I have a question, do you really pronounce "toilettes" as "tway-lettes"?? I'd suggest twah-lets.

The rejections are hilarious, especially since the French versions are more harsh than the English versions.

Good work!

Lina Kirkwood said...

Thanks, I'm glad to have them looked over by someone with a familiarity with the language.

Your redaction of toilettes is more accurate. It was shockingly hard to come up with the final line -- I wanted to use phonetics, but I can't imagine blogger has support for that yet, and didn't have time to make that many image files.

French men often need harsh rejection to get a clue. Clue-by-fours are much larger there, out of necessity.